Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy. – Author Anonymous
Well, housecleanin’ time is with us once more;
And, landsakes alive, it’s an awful chore!
What with scrubbin’, rubbin’, and washin’ paint,
It’s not any picnic; you bet it ain’t!…
For it has to be done each Spring and Fall:
The attic and cellar, bedrooms and hall.
Each room, in its order, gives up its dirt,
Till I am weary and my back does hurt!
– Gertrude Tooley Buckingham, “Housecleanin’ Time” (1940s)
UK DCC Cleaning Quotes
Don’t cook. Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum – “My God, the floor’s immaculate. Lie down, you hot bitch.” – Joan Rivers
The washing of dishes does seem to me the most absurd and unsatisfactory business that I ever undertook. If, when once washed, they would remain clean for ever and ever (which they ought in all reason to do, considering how much trouble it is), there would be less occasion to grumble; but no sooner is it done, than it requires to be done again. On the whole, I have come to the resolution not to use more than one dish at each meal. – Nathaniel Hawthorne
I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home…. I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. – Nancie J. Carmody
The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I’ve ever seen that I didn’t have to clean. – Erma Bombeck
Scrub and polish,—sweep and clean,—
Fling your windows wide!
See, the trees are clad in green!
Coax the spring inside!
Home, be shining fair to-day
For the guest whose name is May!
– Louise Bennett Weaver and Helen Cowles LeCron, “May,” A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband with Bettina’s Best Recipes, 1917
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. – Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller’s Housekeeping Hints, 1966
Cleaning and Housekeeping
You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty. – Cecil Baxter
A clean house is the sign of a boring person. – Author Anonymous
Cleanliness is next to impossible. – Author Anonymous
The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they’d never clean anything. – Dave Barry
Law of Window Cleaning: It’s on the other side. – Author Anonymous
Sometimes clean feels empty. A bit of clutter and dirt gladdens the heart and affirms a life in progress. – Terri Guillemets
Vacuums don’t clean houses. People clean houses. – Everybody Loves Raymond, “Humm Vac,” written by Lew Schneider, original airdate 19 March 2001, spoken by the character Marie Barone
It’s all in the attitude — housework is exercise. Slim your way to a clean home, clean your way to a slim body! – Terri Guillemets
Three-fourths of the Earth’s surface is water, and one-fourth is land. It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn. – Chuck Clark
Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with its endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day. – Simone de Beauvoir