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Computer Quotes

Computer Quotes | Funny Computer Quotations | Slogans for T-shirts Business

Computer Funny Quotes

Computer Funny Quotes

These are some of the very famous computer quotes. Some of these slogans are very funny others are very serious. Our computer cleaners at UK DCC believe that businesses are usually inspired by the great quotations to choose their business slogans or brand name such as t-shirts.

Computers must be male.  As soon as you commit to one you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.  In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.  Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the day. – Author Anonymous.

Unless in communicating with it one says exactly what one means, trouble is bound to result. – Alan Turing, about computers.

The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell but it goes like mad!

– Richard Feynman.

Computer Quotes

Computer Quotes

I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: “Macintosh – We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end.” – Douglas Adams.

Mac users swear by their computers.  PC users swear at their computers. – Author Anonymous.

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. – By Doug Larson.

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there’s no law against whacking them around a little. – By Eric Porterfield.

Hardware:  the parts of a computer that can be kicked.

– By Jeff Pesis.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men. By Isaac Asimov.

DOS computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide.  Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form. – Author Anonymous.

The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim. By Edsger W. Dijkstra.

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.

By John F. Kennedy.

It’s not computer literacy that we should be working on, but sort of human-literacy. Computers have to become human-literate. – By Nicholas P. Negroponte.

A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. By Joseph Weizenbaum.

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord. – Author Anonymous.

I had a life once. Now I have a computer.

– Author Anonymous.

There is a computer disease that anybody who works with computers knows about.  It’s a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is that you ‘play’ with them! By Richard P. Feynman.

There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer. – By J.H. Goldfuss.

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. By Sydney J. Harris.

Computers are like air conditioners.  They work fine until you start opening windows. – Author Anonymous.

My computer kept beating the pants off me at chess, until I discovered that it was no match against me at kickboxing. – Author Anonymous.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees.  That’ll do them in. – Author Anonymous.

Computers, huh?  I’ve heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes…. I don’t know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys. – From the television show King of Queens, spoken by the character Doug Heffernan.

But they are useless.  They can only give you answers. – By Pablo Picasso, about computers.

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination. – Author Anonymous.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. – By Mitch Ratcliffe.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done. – By Andy Rooney.

Don’t anthropomorphize computers – they hate it. – Author Anonymous.

Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry. – Author Anonymous.

To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer. – Bill Vaughan.

User, n.  The word computer professionals use when they mean “idiot.” – By Dave Barry.

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. – By Edsger W. Dijkstra.

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. – By Joseph Campbell.

Computing is not about computers anymore. It is about living. – By Nicholas Negroponte, Being Digital.

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it. – Author Anonymous.

Computers must be female.  No one but the creator understands their internal logic.  The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.  The message “Bad command or file name” is about as informative as, “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m certainly not going to tell you.”  Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval.  As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. – Author Anonymous.

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